title: part 2... Today, woke up late... did not attend talk. Went to meet the teacher with mum? haha... waited 30mins. Cried throughout the session which last for mine... 45min. She said to Ms Toh she ALWAYS encourage me. But she never before. Share a story that i shared before in this blog. Primary 3 after sports day, played basketball with friends for thirty minutes only. Mum came to school and couldn't find me teacher search WHOLE school couldn't find me too. Ran to school gate saw her follow her home. When we reach home, she used the cane and cane me till red blood stripes appear on my limbs. From that day on she let me think that this world is violent and is needed for me to fight for freedom. Yesterday night spended it crying and spamming 1 box of tissue. This morning swollen till can't see my eyelid. o.O Still can't see it now ><
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title: There's nothing call home to me. Today, thanks friends for going crazy with me. After HTA, went to grandma's house for BBQ straight away. Wasn't happy. When i talk to my father nicely, he talked to me in a attitude and when i ask him why he talked in this way. he scolded me. Then he promised me something this week. But when i ask him just now, he became very angry and scolded me that he did not say anything like that before. Mum was just as normal scolding me although i did nothing wrong. Father was very unreasonable, Mum was always saying bad things about me, Brother and i didn't communicate like strangers. I realised something, they didn't ask me why am i unhappy about before, nor do they care about why am i showing attitude. Never, never before. Home is only where i get my money and lodgings. I can't understand what family means. They had never been there for me when i need them. Never ever. Friends are always first in my heart since the start of primary 6. I dread home. Everytime i go back at around 6 to 8. Home, bath and dinner sleep. No communication. It's lonely at home, very lonely....
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title: letting out. I shall note this day as the worst day in 2008.
1. Had quarrels with dar. My fault. 110% 2. Teacher said my DnT looks so easy. His fault. 50% 3. I told my parents i did my homework in school already yesterday but they came in one by one and scold me. Their fault. 100% 4. Basketball makes me quarrel with my friends. Both at fault. 30% 5. Close friends tease me like enemy. Their fault. 80% 6. Close friends leave me as and when they like which you won't be happy with too. Their fault. 90% 7. When i need them, they didn't seem to care about me and simply walk off quietly. Their fault. 90% 8. I am getting on people's nerves often now. My fault. 100% I need you most and you are the most important person in my life. I love you PohChoo, and i am very sorry. Teared in school thrice. I find myself abit weird. Well, limit overshot. I am finding a sandbag or a fleshbag. Anyone? |
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title: Frustrated. Last Saturday, HTA lot fainted, many stand firm. Yesterday basketball. fun but amir had a great fall. Today, i say Clausen don't fall down. Bamp.... BinHao fell right after i said it. Well same fun after all. Layed down on the floor, close my eyes and thought of something. " The sky that can only be seen with half closed eyes, the birds chirppings can only be heard through echoes, the trees that made brushing sounds, the wind howl with might. The thumping of basketball, the laughter for triumph."
Sorry... guess it's neither you nor my fault. But the msn really didn't show your pm. I love you, sorry... happy two months with you darling. |
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title: Routine. Monday- had a fight.
Tuesday- Very happy. =D Need not describe later she angry. >< Wednesday- HTA 1 out of 4, me the rebellious. ask wh happen. P= Thursday- Basketball after school. Slam dunked by Clausen at my eye. 2G's players all became pro in a fortnight. Friday- blogging and bored... xiaozhu is still sleeping. ^^ |
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title: Never again. HTA was going on smoothly, SWAP project is behind time. Tests aren't good. K gonna talk about the camp. Camp was ok... but the thing that the school is really scary... gonna do it again at seconary 3. did not sleep throughout. Slept one whole day after that.
I am sorry... but i felt blessed and happy with you. Really. I tolerate you because i really love you and want to be with you. I am always afraid of losing you, falling for another guy or don't like me anymore. i am really scared. I know you need time, but i am still forcing you to promise me to do things you don't like or don't want and get myself dissappointed at last. I regretted. Sorry. |
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