title: Typical day with an unusual thought So it's only 10am now, watch shows 9.58am and the iPad shows 10.01am. 10 am would be simple. If only life is more direct and simple. Some things in life don't occur suddenly but over the time. Dilemma... The stress and pain you have to defend against..
Most of the things I do nowadays, the words 'give up' just keeps popping out in my mind. Just got a call from my mum, went out of the class to talk. It got me really pissed, keep it short, my parents wants my brother and I to talk, but their actions shows otherwise. While at that, a guy sneezed really loud behind my back, seem intentional. Really loud, I wanna pick a fight with him with the mood at the moment. Examination, failed, wanna give up. Trying to improve the relationship with my dad, want to give up. Loving you, don't want to give up but I'm at my limit... What's the point of trying so hard..? When maybe you get nothing... And so what if you get it...? Pain still lurks around. I'm getting to understand Naomi, Midori and Kisuki... Why they committed suicide.. The pain... It never goes away.. As much as I want to see how far I can go in this life, I really want to end here, when one dies, everything ends, you'll be cut loose of this world, even yourself. The word death never left my mind. |
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